Sesshomaru-Inuyasha BIA: Chapter 15

殺生丸  ＆  犬夜叉:  きょうだい イン  甲鉄
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu 
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers  in Arms

章15 -- 奥 ザ城郭 
Shō  -- Oku  za Jōkaku 
Chapter 15--Inside the Castle

Inuyasha's head pounded with a myriad of confused thoughts that night as he nervously paced in his room; up and down, back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in this damned castle. But the problem was; everything seemed to be crashing down around him all at once; making it difficult to determine exactly what was real and what wasn't. But he knew it all started with Sarula, and that hole he saw her in, to what Princess Edera had said about Sesshomaru, to Princess Edera, herself, and what her deal really was.

None of it made any sense. The princess seemed nice for a youkai, but still some part of him didn't trust her, but he didn't even know why. Should he not trust her because of Sarula and her sister? Hell, he didn't even know what their deal was either. Maybe it was innocent. Maybe Princess Edera simply had them down there as some form of protection. Sarula had left freely when she came to get him, hadn't she? But she'd also come back. She hadn't told him anything was wrong, and hell, he'd even asked her if she was scared of anything. But her sister... Shit, what the hell was the deal with that? There certainly seemed to be something she wanted him to know. But what was it? Should he even care? Sarula damned sure didn't want him to know, whatever it was. What the hell were they hiding in this damned castle?

Hell, even his own thoughts seemed disjointed from himself. He seemed to be getting thoughts in his head and he didn't even know why. He had no idea what he should believe. Princess Edera hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't get past the thought of what was really going on with Sarula and her sister. Sister? Hell, he hadn't even heard anything about a damned sister before. What was that about? What was she doing here? Why were they hidden down in that dungeon? Hell, who'd stay there if they had a choice? Were they being punished? Why? Whatever the hell was going on here, Sarula's sister certainly seemed to want it to end, even if Sarula didn't. But in all honesty, it seemed less that Sarula didn't want it not to end and more that she was afraid of what would happen if her mistress was challenged. But she was just another damned youkai wasn't she? If he pumped her full of shards of his adamant, that would put her down pretty quickly, wouldn't it?

Damn, Inuyasha cursed silently to himself. It had been a long time since he'd had to think through such thoughts on his own. Whenever he got into scrapes like this before, he'd always had Miroku or Sango, or Kagome, Kikyou or even Kaede-babaa to run things across. But now, he was halfway across the country for what? Because of something someone told him Sesshomaru had said? Why had that mattered to him?

Something was wrong here, though; something was very wrong. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was. Sure, Princess Edera didn't have to tell him anything about what was going on here; this was her castle, and she could do whatever the hell she wanted to, he supposed; but still the thought he just couldn't shake, was, why were those two wolf hanyou stuck in that dungeon while he had this spacious room with a comfortable bed. Is that how the princess treated all her servants? Is that why Sarula had seemed so frightened when he'd first met her? If so, why hadn't she just said something? Hell, why hadn't she said anything when he'd followed her down there? Was it because she really was that afraid of her mistress; or was she so afraid of him?

Shit, now that he thought about it, he'd never even seen any of those hollow eyed youkai servants in any of the other rooms, either. Where the hell were they when they weren't prowling the halls? Where they in the central complex like he'd thought, or were they stuck down in some other part of the dungeon as well? Was everyone hidden away because of this Prince Shushinki that Princess Edera was so afraid of? But that made no sense; he'd been here for nearly a week, and the princess had never once mentioned anything about an underground bunker. That was kind of important, wasn't it? If that dungeon was supposed to be some form of protection, shouldn't the princess have mentioned something about it? But had she not done that because it was all just a lie? Was everything in this castle nothing more than a huge lie?

But amidst all his confusion about what was really going on in the castle, Inuyasha continued his nervous pacing as he also grappled with thoughts of Sesshomaru and what Princess Edera had said he'd said. That had to be a lie too, then, didn't it? Sesshomaru wouldn't have really said those things if he cared, would he? Besides, Sesshomaru had not said it to him, had he? But he found it impossible to dislodge thoughts of the things he had said to him.

You filthy hanyou.

Slipping his Tetsusaiga from his sash and placing it on the floor at the side of his bed, Inuyasha pulled off his haori and his hakama, then threw his clothes and worn, naked body down across the futon that had been prepared for him. But he immediately realized he had been so immersed in thought that he hadn't even noticed that he was once more breathing in the acrid scent of the oil lamps burning in the corners of the room. Shit, he couldn't understand why whoever it was that prepared the room kept lighting them. If it truly was like Princess Edera had said, that it was some kind of hell based potion that would let them know if this Prince Shushinki was lurking about somewhere; why were they so convinced he would be lurking about in his room? It seemed like every time he went out to take so much as a piss and came back those damned things were lit.

Leaping up from the futon, Inuyasha padded his way toward the flickering flames and blew each of them out, wrinkling his nose as the stench of the smoke drifted into his face. Proceeding to the window, he unhooked the shutters and pushed them open in an attempt to air the space and get a little moonlight. He had no idea what was going on in this damned castle, but clearly something was. Just the lighting of those damned lamps made him suspicious for some reason; it was like it was some kind of damned ceremonial ritual or something. But the main thing was its scent. He didn't think anything could smell as bad as those lamps did, unless it was dead for a hell of a long time.

But for now, it was best to just try and get some sleep, although he doubted he'd be able to do that with all these questions pounding his head. But he might as well try to forget about the whole thing until tomorrow, he told himself stubbornly. He was hot and tired and there wasn't anything he could do about it now, anyway. He would try again with Sarula and her sister tomorrow night. If they didn't tell him what he wanted to know then, he would simply use his red Tetsusaiga and break the barrier from the inside and get his own ass outta here. He refused to be trapped inside this castle another night. There were too many secrets flowing around here, and some part of him just kept telling him he shouldn't trust anything going on in this place. And if he couldn't trust anyone else, he figured he'd best trust his own instincts.

Moving back toward his futon, Inuyasha heard a slow rasping sound from behind him, as the door to his room slowly slid open.

Shit!

Throwing his naked body across his bed to get to his Tetsusaiga, the hanyou's eyes widened in absolute panic when he saw something large sliding between the open door.

Holding his breath, the hanyou's thoughts ran rampant. Had he been seen talking with Sarula? Had he been seen going down to that dungeon, or perhaps followed coming back? How could he have been so stupid, Inuyasha thought wildly, as he bared his teeth into an anguished snarl. He'd put down his sword and now he was going to be dead. Wrenching his head to the side, he strained to get a look at his intruder.

"Sesshomaru," he called out, closing his eyes almost in partial relief. Inuyasha breathed deeply as the name forced its way past his clenched teeth when he recognized his brother, almost relieved to see a familiar face. "What the hell..." he regrouped and practically froze as the memory of Princess Edera's words flashed through his head, and the relief that had flowed through him only moments before, was suddenly overwhelmed by a deep-seated conflict. "What the hell are you doing? No, never mind that, what the hell do you want?"

"Quiet," Sesshomaru warned his voice almost a whisper. "I expected to find you damaged," he stated as he moved forward and quickly examined his brother's back, chest and arms, only to find them completely unmarred.

"Damaged," Inuyasha squawked yanking his arm away as he swallowed hard, his eyes cloaking with puzzlement as he stared at him. "What the hell are you talking about? Why would you think that?" Inuyasha asked, watching as the youkai lord strolled back toward the partially opened door, then increased the slit slightly as he peeked through the opening, staring down the hall at goodness knows what. "Do I look damaged to you?" Inuyasha demanded as he reached for his hakama and started to rise slowly, determined to get to the meaning of his brother's presence here.

"No, you do not," Sesshomaru responded placidly, ignoring the hanyou's brusque and angry movements and tone as he practically crawled to the other side of the bed. "Get dressed; we have to get out of here."

"What? Get out of here? Why should I do that?" Inuyasha immediately asked, as he slipped his hakama over his legs, never once taking his eyes off the youkai standing by his door.

Sesshomaru practically snared at him across his shoulder. "Surely you have no intention of remaining here, do you?"

"You asking me to leave?" Inuyasha questioned further as he hurriedly pulled on his hakama. If this youkai had come to fight, he would not be without his armor. "What makes you think I would leave with you?"

"Unless you are a baka, you should have no desire to remain in this castle. And I, personally, have no desire to linger here."

A baka, Inuyasha thought with contempt. That's all that youkai thought he was anyway. "You don't want to linger? I don't give a shit what you do. I didn't ask you to come. In fact, I'm pretty sure nobody asked you to come. Princess Edera doesn't need you. She's got me."

"You?" Sesshomaru retorted, spinning his head to face him as his brows narrowed slightly. The glare in his eyes visible despite the limited amount of light peeking through the partially opened door. "Yes she does have you. But what does she have you for?"

When I told him I knew he had a brother, and that perhaps you could help me in his stead. He nearly laughed and said I would be wasting my time on a worthless hanyou like you.

Inuyasha immediately remembered Princess Edera's words as his blood began to boil. "Say what you want. I don't give a shit what you think. Princess Edera has me because I can help her. She doesn't need your ass here."

She might well have an interest in his human soul.

"You, help her?" Sesshomaru puzzled with a slight degree of disgust at the thought, remembering Hidenka Akatsuki's words. "And just what do you believe you can help her with. You cannot possibly be so foolish as to ..."

"Foolish?" Inuyasha bellowed, hating the sound of that word. "Me? You must be freaking kidding. If anyone in this room is foolish it's you. You're the one who's foolish for coming so far out of your way and sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong." Turning his head just slightly so as he could still keep an eye on him, Inuyasha added a bit more emphasis, just a little louder to make his point. "Just in case you didn't hear me before, nobody wants you here!"

Sesshomaru studied him momentarily. "So you are saying you are here of your own accord?" he inquired, knowing he had not anticipated it would be easy to assist the hanyou, but neither had he thought he would receive such resistance. Somehow, he had thought that after a week here, the hanyou would be anxious to leave.

"My own accord?" Inuyasha slipped his haori over his head as quickly as possible; attempting not to lose sight of that youkai lord for even an instant. "Of course I'm here of my own accord. What, you thought I was kidnapped or some shit? Brought here kicking and screaming?"

"I knew not what had happened to you," Sesshomaru responded coolly, as he refocused his gaze back through the opening of the door. "But I fail to understand what you are doing here," he said, finally turning toward the hanyou and sliding the door completely closed behind his back.

"What I'm doing here?" Inuyasha croaked out, masking his confusion over his brother's presence here with gruffness. He thought he'd sounded pretty calm, though, considering he'd just been stormed in on by an unwanted visitor only moments after seeing what he'd witnessed in that basement. In truth, he could just as easily be dead instead of standing here trying to figure out what the hell it was that Sesshomaru truly wanted. "What the hell are you doing here? Nobody called for you."

"You have said that, several times in fact," Sesshomaru said moving forward. "But surely over the years you, of all people, have found that assistance may be required even when one has not asked for it."

"Assist..." Inuyasha moved backward. "Well not this time," he insisted stubbornly. "I damned sure don't need any assistance from you. Just tell me what the hell you are doing here?"

"That is a discussion best left for a later time," Sesshomaru said without moving further, eyeing the hanyou curiously. "For now, we should leave."

"Le-a-ave?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru said, raising the lilt in his voice, a clear indication of his wearied irritation. "We need to leave, quickly!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Inuyasha responded stubbornly. Who did he think he was, he wondered; to just come into his room and tell him what to do? Telling him he needed to leave, but not telling him why.

Sesshomaru focused a sharp glare directly at him. "Are you saying you prefer to remain in this castle?"

"Yeah, I am," Inuyasha said eyeing the youkai lord suspiciously.

"For what purpose?" Sesshomaru wanted to know, sounding only vaguely interested.

"The princess needs me, and I'm just fine here," Inuyasha allowed his gaze to rove about the room in an attempt to avoid the narrowed golden ones currently staring him down as he tucked the end of his haori back into his hakama, before tying his hikigoshi securely around it. He had no intention of admitting to that youkai that he was just thinking about the fact that he needed to get out of there, himself. "There's no need for me to leave."

Totally not suspecting such a response, Sesshomaru simply studied him in confusion for a moment, then assumed his reluctance to leave may well be because he did not wish to go back to his village where he would be alone, now that the miko had died. And then, perhaps he had forgotten that he had extended him an invitation to accompany him on patrol. "I know about the miko," Sesshomaru began, assuming the hanyou was simply upset and not thinking clearly. "You disappeared after her death, but you..."

"Don't," Inuyasha blared angrily, essentially silencing the youkai lord. "Don't you dare!" His fangs glinting through clenched lips, his claws curling into his palms. Just the thought of Kaede-babaa brought back every ounce of the anger he'd felt that led him here. It brought back his memories of how Sesshomaru could just treat him like shit whenever he wanted to, then never even acknowledge that anything had ever happened. It brought back his memories of everything Princess Edera had said to him. It brought back his anger at the foolish hope he'd had; that he still had; and he didn't know why. Then, because he was curious for a response, he vindictively added; "You don't care about me and you damned sure didn't care about her. Never did. You don't care about anyone, so don't you dare even talk about her."

Furrowing his brows, Sesshomaru remained silent, his eyes glistening as he acknowledged that the hanyou did speak the truth. He had not cared before. He never had, but he knew that was changing. He did not fully understand how, or why, or even how much he would change. But he knew he was changing, despite his reluctance to do so. He decided, though, he would not intrude upon the hanyou's grief. There was nothing he could do to save the miko now, so there was no point in divulging that he would have tried. That would do nothing to ease the hanyou's current grief.

"If you are angry at me for whatever reason that is fine. You have that freedom," Sesshomaru's golden gaze bore into the large golden eyes that studied him defiantly. "But you need to pull yourself together; because we should leave now."

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere with you."

If Inuyasha wanted to be adult about this, he would admit that he was too confused to know how to really react now that Sesshomaru was here. But for some reason, Sesshomaru's cold, indifferent exterior never brought out the adult in him. He could admit that he was stubborn, and hard-headed, and goodness knows he'd much rather enter into a battle and fight like hell, than sit around talking. . . but Princess Edera's words still echoed in his head, drowning out the sound of the voice that had said he was a filthy hanyou. Sesshomaru would not offer the princess his assistance, he had no interest in helping her save her empire, he had no interest in helping him, but here he was. . . and the hanyou didn't have the slightest idea why.

But he was determined to find out, even though he couldn't exactly summon the overwhelming anger that had engulfed him when Sarula had told him what her mistress had said Sesshomaru had said. He couldn't even summon the fury he'd felt when Princess Edera had said it in her own words. But... he hadn't actually felt any fury when she'd said it, though, had he? He'd just felt... lost. Princess Edera's words had placed a thick impenetrable wedge between them; as if she'd locked his brother away from him forever. He still remembered the warm breath on his ear when Sesshomaru had said:

I never thought you were. So why would I wish to kill you, Inuyasha?

Did he mean that? Inuyasha had no idea; he just wanted to hear his brother tell him that he did mean it; that he didn't hate him. That he didn't look down on him. That he thought he was a capable warrior.

But the only thing he had was his utter confusion, and the disquieting sense of unexpected relief he'd felt at the sight of the brother who hated him and thought he was worthless. So Inuyasha locked that unwanted relief away, hiding it deep within himself, because he'd be damned if he was going anywhere with that youkai lord before he'd gotten him to admit exactly what he was doing there.

"What is wrong with you, little brother...?"

"And you can just stop that shit too," Inuyasha barked his annoyance. "You told me a long time ago that someone like me was no brother of yours. Well I haven't forgotten, Sesshomaru, or should I say 'Lord Sesshomaru?' " Inuyasha snipped with nothing but acidic sarcasm spewing from his lips. In truth, the more Sesshomaru spoke, the easier it was for him to recapture his fury. He had over 150 years of reserved stash to pull from. Even if he couldn't believe what Princess Edera had said, a few weeks of kindness from him, could never erase their history. "If I'm no brother of yours, then there's no need for you to keep calling me that. I don't need a brother."

Sesshomaru's eyes widened as he rocked back on his heels slightly. He recalled when he had said that. In those days, he had cared for nothing and no one; and the hanyou, least of all. But at that time, he had never even considered the possibility that the things he had done and said then, would come back to haunt him so brutally now, or that they had made such a hated impact on the young hanyou; or even that he would care that they had. "Then why did you leave?" He asked in an attempt to refocus the hanyou's thoughts. He knew he had believed he had run off because he had not trusted him, but he could think of nothing he had done recently to cause such anger and fury in him now. But he was determined to find out.

"What do you care why I left?" Inuyasha snorted.

"Well tell me, why did you come here?"

"What I do, shouldn't be any concern of yours."

No, it should not, but this hanyou would explain why he chose to come to Princess Edera of all youkai. "I have little patience for your foolish antics," Sesshomaru said, no longer reigning in his frustration. He had been tolerant with this hanyou long enough. "You will explain to me why you came here."

"You have little patience," Inuyasha nearly tossed a hearty chuckle across his shoulder as he slipped around to the other side of the futon; moving from within grasping reach of the youkai lord. "What do I care what you have little patience for?" He demanded as he reached for the tsuka of his ... Shit, that was stupid, he thought stubbornly. Why hadn't he picked up his sword when he'd gotten dressed after that damned youkai had moved away? With his beloved sword out of reach, Inuyasha decided he would resort to his backup weapon; his smart mouth. "I do what I want to do; not what you tell me to do. Besides, why should you care? I'm nothing but a filthy hanyou that you should have let die; aren't I?"

Sesshomaru's brows furrowed in his usual sign of displeasure. Was the hanyou truly saying his anger was from back then? From what he had said nearly three weeks ago? He thought they had gotten past that; but... the hanyou had also pointed out what he had said over 150 years before. He had never considered that his past acts and words would be compounded and redirected back at him in such a manner. He had never cared about such a possibility. "If you are trying to point out that I said that, I do not deny that I did," Sesshomaru responded without diverting his gaze away from the large golden orbs that studied him defiantly. "And that is because you viciously split my face open. So you tell me, which is worse," Sesshomaru demanded, not too pleased as he glared back at his younger brother with equal defiance. "What I said; or what you did? "

A vivid memory of Sesshomaru's damaged face that day flashed through his mind. The blood dripping down the once smooth cheek, slashed open to the bone by his claws. He had thought a lot about what Sesshomaru had said, but never once had he considered he might have been justified.

Inuyasha knew which was truly worse, but he didn't care. Sesshomaru didn't care about him, wasn't that worse than anything he had done? But maybe that youkai lord had thought about who'd gotten the upper hand that day and had come to take it out of his hide. Knowing Sesshomaru that at least, sounded like something Inuyasha could easily believe he'd do. Yet he was standing here in his room pretending that he cared, pretending that he'd been all put upon to come out of his way to rescue the wretched hanyou yet again.

"Why don't you answer my question and tell me what you're doing here?" Inuyasha demanded, ignoring his brother's question to him as he threw out his own with determined curiosity. Had his brother come here to get him, or had he simply come to declare he was incapable of helping the youkai princess and he should just go home before he got himself killed?

Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze as he studied him intently. This hanyou could be so exasperating, but he had come here to assist him, had he not? "I came to find out if you have any idea what you are doing here."

Inuyasha stared at him dumfounded for a moment. "Hell yeah, I'm not stupid no matter what you think." He hated the way everything Sesshomaru said to him, always made him feel like he was still the stupid young hanyou that he had taught to use his claws so many years ago. "I know perfectly well what I'm doing here. I'm here because the princess needs me, not you; me," he responded obstinately, not bothering to conceal the contempt dripping from his voice. "And I'm not a person who turns down someone in need," he added maliciously.

"Need?" Sesshomaru's eyes widened considerably. "Do you even know what that succuvex needs?"

Succuvex? What the hell is a succuvex? What was he talking about? Inuyasha wondered, but there wasn't any way he was going to let that youkai lord know that he didn't have a clue. "Look, if you think I'm leaving here with you, you better think again," Inuyasha said creeping back toward the side of the futon where he'd laid his sword; the side back toward Sesshomaru. "I'm not going anywhere with you. Nobody wants you here, so why don't you just go."

"Perhaps not," Sesshomaru said with a wary lilt to his voice. "I suppose with you here, you are correct," he said softly, his eyes narrowing at the thought. "But do you even know why you are truly here? Princess Edera is an extremely resourceful youkai. No, I am not wanted here. So, your princess is probably quite fortunate in that; as long as you are fully aware of where you are, who you are dealing with and what you are about."

Narrowed, clear golden eyes lingered on him as Sesshomaru studied him curiously.

His mouth tight and his own eyes mistrustful, Inuyasha slid in front of his brother and grabbed up his sword, sheathing it at his hip. What was with that youkai? Sesshomaru didn't seem the least bit concerned about the prospect of his being here to help the youkai princess. His interest seemed more about why he was even doing it. He didn't even seem to care that he'd picked up his Tetsusaiga.

His hand resting stubbornly across the tsuka of his sword as he clutched it in his palm, Inuyasha tried to summon a reply. What the hell did he mean succuvex? Was that some youkai way of cursing the princess? Or was he saying that was the kind of youkai she was? But still, what did that mean? What did he mean by did he know what he was doing here? Or did he come of his own accord? Well, that didn't take much thought. He wasn't anyone's damned prisoner. Unlike... Sarula. Was she a prisoner here? Should he tell Sesshomaru about that? No, that youkai didn't care about anyone. If he didn't care about his own brother, he damned sure wasn't going to care about another hanyou.

Inuyasha's mouth flattened into a ruthless line. This time, he was the one who wasn't going to give a shit about him. "Of course I know what I'm doing here. I'm having fun," he said flatly. "And when I kill this shit of a youkai who's threatening her, I might be ruling these lands with Princess Edera. What do you think of that?" Inuyasha asked rhetorically.

A thudding stretch of silence hung in the air between them before Sesshomaru spoke. "Surely, you cannot be serious?" he asked eyeing him suspiciously.

Jaw tight, Inuyasha nodded, he hoped convincingly. "Hell yeah, I'm serious. What the hell do you think? That I just go around spewing out useless words the way you do? Practically all my life, you've beaten the shit out of me and why? Because you're the lord of the western lands and what, I'm nothing but a freaking hanyou. Well, fine; just get the hell out," Inuyasha screeched, hoping that would finally do the job by getting that youkai lord to leave finally. What the hell was he staying for anyway, if he didn't care about him?

Sesshomaru puzzled over his reply. Would he truly? Had their past really impacted him so completely? Was this an indication that nothing he did would ever earn that hanyou's trust? But the youkai lord decided he could not leave it at that. Yes, they may well part ways, but that was the hanyou's choice. But he had not come, simply to leave him here, only to be killed. He had no idea if his brother truly knew what he was in the midst of. The look on his face seemed one more of confused puzzlement than anger. "Inuyasha, do you even know what you are dealing with here? You are not concerned about the mysteries this castle holds? Do you care not what you have at risk, just being here? You are content and have no doubts?"

What were all those questions? What did he mean at risk? Did he think that he couldn't kill this Prince Shushinki? What did he mean what he had at risk? Curiously, Sesshomaru's words seemed to hold some faint undertones of complete and utter disbelief, as though he couldn't possibly comprehend the notion of his being comfortable here, and asked those questions only to try to trip him up.

If Inuyasha truly wanted to be completely honest with himself, if not his brother; then no, he had no idea what he was actually dealing with; no, he wasn't what he would call content; no, he didn't have any clue to the mysteries this castle held; hell what was it he'd just discovered not one hour ago - two hanyou's stuck in a hole; and no, he didn't even have a clue as to what he was about, because he was literally hiding in this room, comfortable or not; trying to figure out exactly what the hell was happening in this creepy castle and dammit he knew that, but right now, it was far easier for him to lie to his brother in an attempt to try to cover his cluelessness than it was to give that youkai lord yet another truth that he could so easily turn into a blade. The fact that the stupid hanyou had thrown himself into the middle of something he didn't know a damned thing about. If he thought he was worthless before, what would Sesshomaru think if he were to ask for his help now? "Don't be stupid. I know all I need to know. And just in case you haven't gotten it yet, let me tell you something. I'd much rather be her mate than your brother. Being related to you has resulted in nothing but shit for me all my life and I'm tired of it. I don't need no damned advice from you. In fact, I don't give a shit, if I never see you again."

Sesshomaru studied him. His glare intense and disbelieving. So his assumptions had been correct. That hanyou had fled because he had not trusted him. Yes, this Sesshomaru had fought him for years, had shown him no kindness until recently. But he had not killed him. In fact, recently he had shown him more kindness than he had ever shown anyone. And yet this hanyou trusted a youkai who sought only to take his life, more than he did his own kin. There was no doubt now, nothing he did would ever change that hanyou's opinion of him. It mattered not that his heart had changed. It mattered not that he was making an attempt to reach out. It mattered not that he had saved his life. His prior treatment of him was likely too much for him to ever overcome. Well, so be it. If he could trust an unknown youkai more than he trusted this Sesshomaru, then his life was his own to discard. "Do as you please Inuyasha. If that is truly what you wish, I will not stop you. Your life is yours to do with it as you will!"

Uttering a hollow laugh, Inuyasha realized the sound was cold, coming from him. Shaking his head slightly, he lifted his eyes to defiantly meet his brother's narrowed, guarded gaze. "Do with as I will? You're damned right it is," he sneered angrily. "I have absolutely no problems with Princess Edera," Inuyasha lied, refusing to give in, raising his voice obstinately. "She, at least, has a freaking heart. Something you know nothing about. She doesn't give a shit about my worthless hanyou blood; she doesn't try to kill me by sticking her freaking claws into my throat and filling me with some stinking youki poison every time I get on her freaking nerves," he yelled furiously, no longer able to control himself. "And not once, ever has she called me a filthy hanyou, not even when I piss her off. I get to do whatever the hell I want to. So don't go projecting any of your paranoid bullshit onto me, because you don't know me as well as you think. In fact, you don't know a damned thing about me, Sesshomaru, and you never will."

Inuyasha watched his brother's expression change before his eyes, evolving from something tense to something vaguely readable. Was that denial? Or was it just anger. Instead of one of his brother's usual heartless sneers about him being a stupid, trusting idiot, or his doing anything else that Inuyasha might have easily predicted he would do, he watched the blood in Sesshomaru's face drain away; his face turning almost ghostly, even in the darkened room, with what seemed to be a restrained fury. It was almost as if Sesshomaru was being consumed by a horrible anger that was tainted with that same heated emotion he'd had nearly two months ago when Inuyasha had provided no valid reason for wearing that rosary. He remembered that he'd never seen Sesshomaru so angry before.

When they'd finally talked, Sesshomaru had had no qualms about letting him know just how angry that had made him.

If I ever again learn that you have allowed those humans to treat you like something less than them, I will kill you. I will not stop myself next time. Do you understand me? I swear I will tear you apart with my bear hands.

Sesshomaru had done a lot of things to him; even tried to kill him a number of times, but he had never seen him as angry as he was that day; and now, the look on his face seemed to have surpassed that anger. But in truth there was no emotion, nothing at all, just a cold, emotionless blankness as a set of golden eyes peered deep into his own for what seemed almost far too long. And even though he'd gotten some small degree of satisfaction from initially watching the turmoil inside his brother build, Inuyasha was suddenly overwhelmed with something else... guilt, maybe.

Unmoving, he watched him uncertainly; until finally, composure slowly returned to the youkai lord, his face eventually displaying a harsh icy coldness; his expression finally settling to a cold indifference that seemed to veil Sesshomaru's true internal thoughts.

"You are telling me that you would take that youkai as your mate for what? To fulfill an obligation?" Sesshomaru murmured, his tone flat; his voice empty. "You are so trusting of her, that you would commit yourself to her, mere hours after arriving here. Yet you dare shun me for a handful of words spoken in anger. . . mere days after I willingly defiled myself to save your life? You have lies whispered in your ear and you reject me?" Sesshomaru repeated in clear disbelief, his shoulders straightening to an almost brick-like wall, as he regarded him coolly.

Inuyasha tensed, feeling the thump of guilt flowing deep in the pit of his stomach. But why the hell should he? "Handful of words? You-"

"Enough, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru lifted his palm stiffly as he interjected harshly, turning his head away and stepping back, as though he could not even stand their proximity any longer. "I am done. If your life is of no importance to you, it is even less so to me. You wretched, infantile fool, running about, throwing your ridiculous, pathetic little tantrums. No, you do not deserve me, hanyou; what you do deserve is to be left to your own youkai-forsaken outcome, to suffer the full brunt of whatever it is you have thrown yourself in the middle of; something I had endeavored to try to spare you!"

Stunned and wary, the hanyou simply blinked his confusion. "Wha-a-at?"

But Sesshomaru was already moving toward the door, his shoulders resolute and uncaring. "You have proven yourself to be disappointing," he said with only mild exasperation, as though he were simply discussing a rainy day; certainly not at all like he was in the process of completely disowning his younger brother. "Do as you please, Inuyasha. Your affairs no longer matter to me," Sesshomaru said as he slid the shoji screen door open. "Enjoy what little life you likely have left with your future mate."

His mouth silent, but partially ajar, Inuyasha watched disbelievingly as his brother exited through the open door, morphing into his vibrant white ball and vanishing. There was no emotion, no attack, no insults; just nothing.

Sesshomaru hadn't even looked back.

Moving half unconsciously toward the door, the hanyou stared down both directions of the long empty halls, but found no trace of his brother lingering there. What did he care? He asked himself brutally. This was what he wanted, wasn't it, he puzzled as he raked his hand through his long white strands. So Sesshomaru was gone. Get over it. So he wasn't coming back. Big deal; it wasn't as if it was the end of-

But, Sesshomaru was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

But that was what he wanted, wasn't it? That youkai lord was gone; finally-

But had his selfishness pushed his brother too far? Had Sesshomaru bent as far as he could until he could bend no more? What was he trying to do? Break him? For what purpose? What the hell was wrong with him? Was he nothing but a damned little girl? Wanting Sesshomaru to prove that he truly did care? Wanting so much to hear him say he did. But what was he trying to prove by being so stubborn? Inuyasha wondered as he turned uncomfortably back into the room letting the door slide close behind him.

But all he'd really wanted was his brother's respect. He'd just wanted Sesshomaru to say that he didn't hate him. To say that he respected him; to treat him like an equal. But why? He wasn't his equal. He was just his hanyou half-brother. Wasn't it enough that Sesshomaru had come? Somehow, he'd gotten through that barrier and come looking for him. Sesshomaru wouldn't have done that if he didn't care, would he? Shouldn't that have been enough?

Sesshomaru had already said he didn't hate him, didn't he? Had over 200 years of not having his brother care about him made him restless and greedy? Was he so compelled to force that youkai to apologize for not caring about him before? Had it left him wanting more than that youkai could ever possibly give him?

Sesshomaru had been furious to think he'd trusted the princess more than he did him. But did he really? Why had he believed anything Princess Edera had said? What more did he want Sesshomaru to do?

Now, he could almost feel her eyes looking at him as she shook her head disapprovingly.

"Who was that mama?"

She had taken quite a while before she responded, but finally, she said "Lord Sesshomaru."

"Lawd Ses...Sesomaroo?"

"Lord Sesshomaru," she repeated again. "He is your older brother," she said lifting him into her arms.

"My brother?" Inuyasha had repeated almost wistfully. He didn't even know he'd had a brother. But that person looked so strong and so powerful. Was that really his brother?

"Is he coming back? When's he coming back?" he had asked excitedly.

"I don't know, but promise me you will stay away from him if you ever see him again."

"Stay away? But why, mama?" she had ran her fingers through his hair and he remembered shaking his head widely. He had always hated when she treated him like a baby.

"Because he's very angry."

"At me?"

"Actually, I think he's angry at everyone."

"But he's not angry at me, is he mama?"

"Just promise me, you'll stay away from him if you see him again, Inuyasha."

Stay away from him. If anyone was going to stay away now, it would be Sesshomaru, because he was gone. He'd left his foolish hanyou brother to fend for himself. He didn't care anymore. But had he ever? Inuyasha didn't really know, so did it matter? But, the problem was, Inuyasha knew he wasn't coming back; and that did matter. It mattered a hell of a lot.